The Kira of the Opera
by humdedum
Summary: L discovers that the Phantom of the Opera perfectly fits his analysis of Kira. Matsuda and Aizawa are sent to interrogate Erik the Phantom.


The best origami shops are in Japan, right at the heart of all paper specialty shops. Those who lived in Kanto knew that fact. The rich and successful would fly over to get exquisitely done origami creations. But some people came not just for decorations.

Some people came because their faces were deformed. They needed something to hide behind. A mask.

That was precisely why Erik the Phantom was walking out of Hirobachi & Yoshizana's Origami Shoppe, whistling his theme song and holding his mask close in the wind. The visit was a success. Erik had first started going there when he nearly outgrew his childhood mask, and all it was was a scrap of plastic clinging to his nose. The shop had the most lovely details and designs - and their custom holiday masks for him! Brilliant.

His thoughts drifted to Christine, and Raoul, and Madame Geri, and then the various rope and stage crew he had befriended or alternately killed.

Someone came up behind him. Before Erik could reach for his sword in his belt, aforementioned person slammed the Phantom into the ground and whispered, "You're under arrest under suspicion of being second Kira. Or Kira. Or third Kira. Either way, I need to arrest you."

Erik twisted his head around to see who was speaking in such pristine English to him. It looked like a plainclothes detective. Not much. But said detective, did, after all, have a stun gun, which was in fact heading right towards...him.

* * *

"Can you hear me?"

Erik could hear them quite fine.

"Sir, what is your name?"

He wondered if they were going to punish him for all the killings he'd done.

"Sir, your name."

His thoughts drifted back to the arrest. No, it had definitely sounded like "suspicion of being Kira".

"Your...name, sir."

Erik glared at the interrogator. "I'm the Phantom of the Opera."

"Don't joke!" Aizawa yelled at him.

"I'm the Phantom of the Opera, there inside your mind," Erik began. He thrust the deformed side of his face (now exposed, he thought balefully) towards Afro-Man.

Aizawa inched away from the Phantom.

"...and though you turn from me," Erik continued.

Matsuda began to sweat, then handed Erik his mask back. "We didn't mean to demean you...uh, Mr. Opera. Honestly, we just thought that maybe you didn't want the K-K-Kira to see your whole face...so-and-s-so we took it off."

"DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING!" roared Aizawa.

"Okay okay," Matsuda said feebly.

"Well, if you must know," said the Phantom, puffing his chest out and standing from his chair, "my real name is Erik, but Andrew Lloyd Webber-" here he shook his head in disgust- "never used it."

"Well, Eric-"

"With a K."

"Ah. Well,_ Erik_, with a K, I...ah. What was I going to ask him again?" Matsuda frowned.

"The questions. About Kira." Aizawa nodded at his coworker.

"Who is this Kairi?" the Phantom demanded. "Why would you mistake me for some red-headed girl with huge shoes?"

"E-excuse me?" Matsuda blinked.

"You suspect me of being Kairi."

"KIRA," Aizawa snapped. "You are suspected of being Kira, mister, and the evidence against you is quite astounding."

"Try me," the Phantom challenged the Japanese man, his eyes narrowing.

"Um...okay! Question one!" Matsuda called out, looking at his notebook. "Is it true that you have killed people in the past two months?"

"Of course!"

"Is it true that you would kill those in the way of your plans, or mission?"

"Isn't that obvious, with Raoul?"

"I do not know who this Brawl-person is, but-"

"R-A-O-U-L. Get French names correct."

"Er, moving along. Would you consider yourself stubborn?"

"What kind of Phantom do you take me for?"

"Do you consider yourself smart?"

"I consider myself the finest French gentlemen who ever lived beneath the opera house, thank you very much!"

Matsuda eyed his partner. This man was everything L had suspected Kira was.

"Mr. Phantom," Aizawa looked at him pointedly. "Would you kill criminals?"

"Everyone except me is obviously a criminal," sniffed Erik. "Next!"

"Would you kill someone investigating you, to halt a hot case?"

Erik turned and stared at Aizawa and Matsuda for a long time (think: two hundred and forty-seven seconds). "No one has ever investigated me."

"But WOULD you?" Matsuda began to sweat again.

"By all means," said the Phantom, waving his hand.

Matsuda and Aizawa shared another glance. "Mr. Phantom...do you admit to being Kira?"

"I already told you!" Erik breathed out. "I am most DEFINITELY not Kairi. Do I LOOK like a video game character to you?"

"I think he's guilty. Lock him up," Aizawa began.

"B-b-but, don't you think Ryuzaki should take a look?" Matsuda said.

* * *

"Hi."

Erik stared at Ryuzaki, aka L.

"I'm L. You can call me Ryuzaki. I'm all the top three detectives in the world."

"It's a pleasure, Ryu-wait. All three?" Erik's hand paused halfway in the air.

"In all your fantasies, you always knew," L monotoned.

"That all three mysteries...were both in you." The Phantom had to admit, when someone else actually knew your favorite songs, you had to like them a _little _bit.

"Erik, you fit perfectly into the prototype of Kira," L began.

"Which means I'm NOT Kira!" chipped in a boy, sitting on a couch by L. In return, L stared at him blankly and the boy sighed.

"You kill, you're stubborn, you're smart, you like to manipulate people, you enjoy-"

"Okay, that still doesn't make me this...this Kally person."

"Kira," Aiwaza corrected.

"Karly?"

"Kira."

"Kimmy."

"Kira."

"Khloe."

Now this was more of a battle of ego than ignorance.

"Kira!"

"Kourtney!"

"Why are you going through the Kardashian family?"

"Because it's obvious I'm not Kiki!"

"What the heck is Kiki? I said, Kira."

"Kyle?"

"Kira!"

"Kayla?"

"Kira!"

"Kanada!"

"Um," the boy on the couch interrupted Erik and Aizawa's spat. "'Canada' is spelled with a 'C', not a 'K'."

"Shaddup, Light," Aizawa spat. He turned back to face the Phantom. "It's spelled K-I-R-A."

Erik pretended to roll his eyes around in deep thought. "Oh, I see...it's spelt K-H-E...hmm, what was it again?"

"K-I-R-A."

"K...I...M...L?"

"K-I-R-A!"

"C..."

"K!"

" 'Kay."

"Yes!"

"Wait, so I'm Kay? My name is Erik, not 'Kay'."

L looked at them both and grinned. "It is obvious you are not Kira, Erik. I can tell by your...conversations with Aizawa."

"HE OUTRAGES ME!" Aizawa accused. "We should lock him up just for that!" Everyone ignored him.

"You are free to go," L continued.

"So...you see that I'm clean?" The Phantom said hopefully.

"HE MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH HIM!" Aizawa shrieked. No one heard.


End file.
